Speak Your Fear, Be Fearless

I feel alone.

Are my hands sweating?

They’re never going to go for my request.

I wish I would have brought someone with me.

I want to vomit.

Let’s just get this over with!

This was me in some of my son’s first IEP meetings in preschool, but it really could be anyone. I have friends who text me before going into their child’s IEP meeting and the commentary is the same. Fear and loathing!

Read Related Post: 3 Words that Will Transform Your Next IEP Meeting

I’ve never been a very confrontational person. I want everyone to just get along. To this day I still sometimes shake my head “yes” to decisions made in my own son’s IEP meetings, while inside I’m thinking “This doesn’t sound right!” Then I get home and I realize “it’s not right!”…then I really freak out. My husband gets the brunt of this freak out session. Poor guy! I mean, I really go bonkers. Then I get angry.

I was sick of feeling this way, which is one reason I decided to complete the Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates year-long Special Education Training. I knew I was supposed to be an equal member of the IEP team, but always felt like the school personnel had the upper hand. They’re in charge of the evaluations, the initial draft, and they ran the meeting.

The COPAA SEAT course gave me the legal expertise to know that it didn’t have to be this way. If I disagree with the school’s evaluation, I can request an independent educational evaluation (IEE) at school expense. I could offer my own “draft” of the IEP with my ideas for present levels, IEP goals, and accommodations. I could ask for a draft before the meeting. I could also provide my own agenda for the meeting. And the IEP document can ALWAYS be changed, even after the meeting.

All of this went a long way in quelling some of my fears, but that emotional charge of walking into your own child’s IEP meeting never quite goes away. That’s why I started speaking about my fears for my son.

You’ve probably heard of “speaking truth to power,” or a non-violent way of fighting back against corrupt governments. This is similar, even if the school is well-meaning and not corrupt. It may seem counterintuitive, but speaking your fears can actually expose what may be wrong or challenging about your child’s situation in a real and authentic way. Get it out and be done with those fears. What are your fears for your child? SAY THEM OUT LOUD! WRITE THEM DOWN!

Read Related Post: Advocate Like a Mother

I fear my son will be mistreated and I will never know, because he can’t tell me.

I fear my son will be separated from his twin brother and other peers, because he has a cognitive disability.

I fear that he will be left in a general education classroom without the supports he needs.

I fear that behaviors that are a manifestation of his disability will be used to segregate him.

I fear, I fear, I fear!

SAY IT OUT LOUD! WRITE IT DOWN!

Then, here’s the clincher…..

Say them to the IEP team. I know!!! It’s super scary, but it’s also revolutionary!!! If you’re like the old me you can also just write them down and present them in an agenda at the meeting. Speaking our fears is one of the most powerful ways to overcome them; to ensure our worst fears for our children never happen. Instead, solutions to your fears take center stage at the IEP table.

Most teachers and principals are in education for the right reasons. They really care about our kids. They want what’s best for them. If we speak our fears to them it really sets the stage for an open relationship that’s focused on what’s best for the child. Sometimes being vulnerable, speaking your fears, is the most powerful tactic you can take!

What helps you stay on-point at an IEP meeting? Tell me your fears below.

Top 5 Blog Posts of the Year

2018 was a year of change for our family. The military moved us across country, my twin boys (one with Down syndrome) started kindergarten, and I started a special education advocacy business. So, far all those ventures have been a success. We found a school in Washington state that believes in inclusion. My twins are in the same general education classroom; my son with Down syndrome is receiving supports inside the regular classroom. With my youngest child still at home, I’ve started slow with my special education advocacy business…but things are heating up with phone calls from around the nation and some special clients locally.

What hasn’t changed is my need to learn everything about special education law, inclusion, and the disability civil rights movement. And I still love sharing what I’ve learned on this blog. Judging from my top 5 read blog post, you are eager to learn more too.

My New Year’s Resolution is to help more families advocate for their child with a disability in school. To secure their child’s civil right to a Free and Appropriate Education in the Least Restrictive Environment. To share what I’ve learned from this venture with you here. Please let me know if you need help. Click on the “services” tab on the menu to learn more.

So without further ado, here are the Top 5 Blog Posts of 2018:

  1. Least Dangerous Assumption: This theory that explains the bigotry of low expectations we set for people with disabilities will blow your mind. It will change how you view every IEP meeting you attend. It’s a must know in the new year!
  2. Why Your Child Needs a “No Consent” Letter for Seclusion and Restraint: It’s the blog post that I wish wasn’t in the top 5, but has obviously hit a nerve. This post consistently ranks in the top 3 blog post on my blog on any given day. It’s disturbing, and speaks to the dark side of special education. There’s been too many instances of seclusion and restraint across the nation this year. Still, the post gives you some guidance on how to prevent seclusion and restraint tactics from happening to your child. I gave my son’s school a “No Consent” letter as soon as we moved here. The district already has a policy against these tactics, but I respectfully and politely pushed to have this in his file just in case. The IEP team completely understood my concerns.
  3. Teen with Down Syndrome Wins Inclusion Case in Federal Court: The Down syndrome community and all special education students had a huge victory in federal court this year in the case of Luka vs. Hamilton County School District in Tennessee. Luka and his Mom sacrificed a lot to ensure he received the education he deserved; and their bravery has a positive impact on us all.
  4. Using a Recent Federal Court Case at Your Next IEP Meeting: Luka’s mom specifically talks about how you can use her son’s case at your own child’s IEP meeting to fight for inclusion. Her words will stay with you…check it out!
  5. 7 Research Studies You Can Use At Your Child’s Next IEP Meeting to Win the Fight for Inclusion: This was one of the most shared blog post of the year. Did you know there’s not one research study since IDEA was signed into law more than 40 years ago that says a separate setting shows an academic benefit for students with intellectual disabilities. Find out what the research says about all the benefits of inclusion!

What blog post was your favorite? What do you want me to write about in the New Year? Let me know in the comments below. We’re wishing you an inclusive 2019!

Inclusive Theater for Self-Advocates with Down Syndrome

When you are born different, it’s easy to stand out. Some of our local self-advocates with Down syndrome have embraced this role. They work hard to adapt to the neuro-typical way of life, and they want to be front stage.

If the world’s a stage, these self-advocates want a starring role!

So, we gave them the opportunity to do just that. It was an idea born out of a communications workshop I advocated for last summer. Why not include our self-advocates with Down syndrome in local theater? Local theater educator, Stephanie Radford, and I already knew from our communications workshop that the self-advocates have a natural flair for acting.

Read Related Post: Using Improv Theater to Build Confidence in Self-Advocates

We invited local self-advocates to a 6-week theater 101 workshop, followed by a try-out for our local theatre’s final performance: Madagascar. Each week in January and February, self-advocates learned how to be in a musical. They had to memorize a monologue and song, and perform both in front of their peers. Stephanie also taught them common dance moves found in most musicals to prepare them for tryouts and rehearsals.

To say our self-advocates were nervous is an understatement. When Stephanie asked them to read their monologue the first week after receiving one, some literally had no words. Communication skills are difficult for most people with Down syndrome, and memorizing a monologue and then performing it seemed near impossible. We have self-advocates that are completely non-verbal, and use an assistive technology device to perform their monologue. Week after week, I sat amazed as each self-advocate spoke in front of their peers; some through verbal words and others through emotion and sign.

“I recorded mine. Is that ok?” asked 21-year-old Kyle. Stephanie gave him a pass, but said he also should also try reading it in front of us. After two weeks Kyle eventually started reading off his script. You could tell that he loved to act. Still, the phone was a distraction, and I assumed he would never put it down. As usual, I was wrong in my assumptions. By the last workshop Kyle performed his complete monologue, with action and enthusiasm, from memory; no phone in sight. When I told him I was so proud of him he said “I am too!” Andy, who uses an assistive technology device, went from shaking his head and smiling at the beginning of our workshop, to adding humor to his computer voice and body language that would have any audience giving a standing ovation.

Read Related Post: Communication is Key to Self-Advocates’ Pursuit of Goals

Self-advocates received call backs for specific roles in Madagascar. This week they’ll be placed with a typical teen actor with experience. These peers will assist self-advocates on their acting journey. This is inclusion in action!

Thulani trying out for Madagascar. He’s looking forward to playing the part of the penguin or lemur in the musical. Stay tuned to find out what role he gets.

Our local theatre has never made a conscious effort to include people with disabilities in performances. With a little trial and error we’re hoping that this is just the beginning of an amazing inclusive experience. Stay tuned!

Does your child with Down syndrome participate in inclusive activities outside of school and work? Tell me how you make it work below.

 

How One Retired Police Officer is Changing Perceptions of Down Syndrome

Ethan Saylor

The name alone brings instant sadness to the minds of special needs parents everywhere. A life taken too soon. A senseless death. 

The 26-year-old man with Down syndrome died after police restrained him in a movie theater that he refused to leave. Ethan stayed for a second viewing of a movie, without having paid for it. The aide that was with him at the time begged the off-duty police to not aggravate Ethan; that his mom would soon arrive and make him leave. The death was ruled a homicide as a result of asphyxia, and the off-duty police officers involved are now being tried in a civil law suit.

GTO Cadet, Tyler Caldwell (left) and GTO Founder, Travis Atkins (right)

21-year law enforcement veteran, Travis Atkins, says the Ethan Saylor death was a travesty that should have never happened. Now he’s started a non-profit to help change perceptions of people with intellectual disabilities within the law enforcement community.

Growth Through Opportunity (GTO Cadets) is a program designed to provide adults of all ages with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, and other unique challenges an opportunity to gain valuable job skills and social experience.

GTO Cadet with a First Responder

“First responders and GTO Cadets grow immensely in their respective levels of understanding by being partnered together over a 16-week period. This drastically decreases negative encounters during future, real-life situations,” Officer Atkins explains.

I got a chance to hear Officer Atkins talk at the 1st Annual NDSS #DSWorks conference. He brought along one of GTO’s first cadet graduates, Tyler Caldwell, who happens to have Down syndrome.

“I got to wear a uniform just like all the other officers. When I was at State Special Olympic Games, I got to wear it and march in the torch lighting ceremonies with officers from other cities. People would recognize me when I was out as one of the GTO Cadets. That really made me happy. All my friends wanted to be in the program, too. Police officers are really nice people and are my friends,” Caldwell describes.

After spending 16 weeks as a volunteer cadet, Caldwell got a job at Kroger. “People recognized me from Police Department,” Caldwell says. And Officer Atkins says that’s the end goal. “Our goal is to enhance confidence, employability, and quality of life for participants. From a law enforcement officer’s perspective, there’s no better way to learn than by first-hand experiences in a controlled environment,” Atkins explains.

With the assistance of a first responder, cadets are taught specific tasks inside the department, as well as in the community.

“They assist our police department with crime prevention presentations, role playing at the police academy (which helps mold the minds of young recruits), and playing the role of the National Crime Prevention Council’s McGruff the Crime Dog®,” Atkins says. The City of Roanoke even has a sheriff’s vehicle and ambulance with the GTO logo, which helps break down barriers within the community.

Atkins says it’s community inclusion that will help prevent another tragedy like the death of Ethan Saylor. “GTO challenges other agencies across the nation to be pioneers and trend setters in the field. Be creative. Be innovative. Consider incorporating these fine individuals into your agency.”

To learn more about Growth Through Opportunity check out their website here or their FB page here.

 

Watch Us in a Newly Released Mini-Documentary to #SaveMedicaid

Troy and I join other Down syndrome advocates across the nation to #SaveMedicaid in this mini-documentary by respected documentarian, Daniel Sheire.

The Senate just released its version of the American Health Care Act, and it’s worse than I thought it would be. 

Here’s what the National Down Syndrome Congress has to say about the new version of the bill:

“It makes even deeper cuts to Medicaid than the House version. (See http://thehill.com/…/338978-whats-in-the-senate-healthcare-…) Both House and Senate versions restructure Medicaid to a per capita cap model and eliminate the individual mandate. However, they are tied to different inflation indicators starting in 2025. The House bill is tied to the medical inflationary index (since costs in the health care sector increase faster than broader measures of inflation), whereas the Senate bill will be tied to the regular Consumer Price Index. States would eventually receive even less federal funding (starting in 2025) than under the House bill, leaving states in a worse position to pick up the slack. States will immediately start to cut home & community-based Medicaid services in anticipation of the funding slow down from the federal government.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) is reaffirming his intention to have a vote on the bill prior to the July 4th break. WE NEED YOU TO CALL YOUR SENATORS TODAY AND EVERY SINGLE DAY TO URGE THEM TO VOTE NO ON THIS BILL THAT WILL SET THE DOWN SYNDROME COMMUNITY BACK 50 YEARS BY JEOPARDIZING THE CRITICAL SUPPORTS UPON WHICH WE DEPEND TO LEARN, WORK AND LIVE IN OUR COMMUNITY. Call the Senate switchboard at (202) 224-3121.

Grassroots advocacy is our best chance of defeating this bill. Please share this impactful video created by advocates from the Down syndrome community discussing how devastating caps and cuts to Medicaid will be. Include the hashtags #SaveMedicaid and #NoCutsNoCaps and make your voice heard loud and clear!”