Sometimes the biggest barrier to inclusion for individuals with disabilities is their family.

For fear that their child will be hurt, parents can sometimes overcompensate and overprotect.

I’m guilty of this sometimes, even though I try really hard to have similar expectations for Troy as I have for my typical children. It’s human nature, I suppose.

But we must practice what we preach! If I want Troy to be included in our community, then I need to create equity and inclusion within our home.

Family meals are a simple way that I’ve created equity in our home.

Troy is expected to help set the table, sit with his family during meals, and help clear off and clean the table when we’re finished.

Seems like a simple routine, and he’s pretty proficient at this now. But believe me when I say it took YEARS of throwing food and Troy getting up and down to clean up the mess before he mastered this routine.

My approach to this routine all started with Baby Led Weaning. The new book, “Born to Eat,” creates a whole philosophy surrounding BLW and family-centered meals that really piqued my interest as a special needs mom.

May be you’ve heard of it, but don’t think it’s appropriate for children with disabilities. It does seem intimidating at face value:

When child shows readiness for solid foods, parent presents whole food options (that are appropriate in texture for an infant) that the rest of the family is already eating. (no time or money sent on baby food jars, or making your own baby purees)

Parent decides what, when, and where a child eats.

Child decides how much and if he/she wants to eat.

-Cue the worried parent-

Listen, I’ve been there.

We all worry that our child isn’t eating enough, but this philosophy is really about honoring self-regulation and self-reliance in your child. Two attributes that are so important to the success of individuals with Down syndrome.

The best part is “Born To Eat” takes a nonjudgmental approach. You can dive in, or just implement parts of baby-led weaning.

Read Related Post Here: Born to Eat Part 2: Benefits of Baby-Led Weaning for Babies with Feeding Issues

But what about oral motor issues, you ask? It’s true, many babies and children with Down syndrome have feeding issues.

“Born to Eat” author, Wendy Jo Peterson, says you should always consult your pediatrician before starting any solid foods with your child, but a whole foods approach may actually benefit a child with oral-motor sensory issues.

Most feeding experts that Wendy Jo works with feel that empowering a child early on to work on these skills is important, but all agree that this may not be appropriate for all infants all the time.

Every parent has to navigate these waters on their own and seek the support of feeding experts who truly understand a Baby-led feeding approach.

Dr. Katja Rowell is an excellent resource for parents who wish to try a baby-led approach, she was one of “Born To Eat’s” technical readers, and fully supports a BLW approach to feeding infants.

The American Speech-Language and Hearing Association also has a blog post on the benefits of BLW here.

Children often begin to develop picky eating habits early on. “By using varied textures and flavors early on infants (when they are most apt to be accepting to new things) can become acquainted with these flavors and textures.

“Picky eating to a degree is natural,” Wendy Jo explains.

Understanding the Division of Responsibility (coined by Ellyn Satter) can help every parent navigate these waters and learn how their own responses contribute to picky eating.

Read Related Post Here: Our Birth Story: Double the Blessing, Each One of a Kind

In the book, “Born To Eat” shares examples of positive language around the dinner table, and reminds parents that children have the right to what they choose to chew or not.

The less we react the less the table becomes a battleground. Food should not be a battleground or used as punishment or reward.

“Food only becomes an issue when we make it an issue,” author Wendy Jo Peterson explains.

Embracing a family-centered, whole-foods approach is a simple way to start on the path to self-regulation and self-reliance in our children with Down syndrome. Both of these attributes will serve them well in other parts of their life.

In Part 2 of this book review, I’ll talk to a Speech and Language Pathologist who will walk us through the specific benefits of a baby-led weaning approach and how to start on your child on solid foods.

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Disclosure: I received no compensation, sponsoring, financial incentive, or other inducements to write this article

How have you taken a family-centered, whole foods approach to feeding your little one? I’d love to hear your food stories below!

The old adage “don’t judge a book by its cover” never resonates with me more than after I had Troy, my son with Down syndrome.

I’ll be honest, I’m a conformist. A follower even. I’ve blended my whole life. I was never the richest kid, or the smartest kid, or the prettiest either.

But what happens when you can’t blend, because you were born to stand out?

My Troy stands out. His visible disability brings instant judgement wherever we go:

From fellow moms: “Can he climb those playground stairs?”

From other kids: “Troy, let me help you with that.”

From his teachers: “I am shocked that he’s potty trained and knows all his letter sounds! But we’re still not sure he can keep up in higher grades. May be you should consider a resource room.”

Even from sweet grandmothers: “Oh, those children are always so happy. Your son is an angel sent from heaven!”

These comments are all well-meaning, which is what makes them sometimes hurt the most.

In my experience, I can more easily ignore and shut out the uneducated jerk who treats Troy like the plague.

It’s the good intentioned comments that I receive on a daily basis that weighs me down. I at once want to hug them for their desire to “want what’s best for Troy,” and punch them for instantly and subconsciously assuming “he can’t.”

Their comments often catch me off guard, because 99.9% of the time ALL I SEE IS TROY—NOT Down syndrome.

It’s a constant internal struggle.

That’s why I simply adore a recent pick by my beloved book club called “Wonder” by Raquel J. Palacio.

It’s a pre-teen book (one of my personal fav book genres) about a boy named August (“Auggie”), who has a severe facial deformity. At 10-years-old he leaves the decade-long safety of his homeschooling career to enter a private middle school.

You can imagine the drama that ensues.

This thought-provoking, witty, and eloquently written book will have you reeling, especially if you’re directly connected to someone with a visible disability or just different.

Auggie is introspective, vulnerable, and hilarious.

The book starts out with Auggie declaring “I won’t describe what I look like. Whatever you’re thinking, it’s probably worse.”

He’s not a novel device or token disabled kid. Neither are the other characters, which I found especially fascinating.

There’s characters in the novel that never come to accept Auggie, or see him as anything other than “other.” But there’s also truly inspiring friends, who are amazing because they learn to see Auggie for who he truly is: a smart, funny kid.

I cried while reading the perspective of Auggie’s parents. They at once want to shield their child from this brutal world, but also push him to reach his highest potential. Any parent can find commonality in their story.

And the perspective of Auggie’s sister, Olivia (“Via”) particularly stuck with me.

I worry about the impact of Troy’s disability on my typical children, as much as I worry about Troy.

Will they resent Troy, or my husband and I for the extra care that Troy sometimes needs? Will they be bullied, because their brother is different? Will this visible disability ruin their life?

Via taught me to take a deep breath, and embrace the mess that is life.

Yes, she does some time resent her situation (don’t we all at one time or another), but she’s the only character who somehow inherently embraces her brother and pushes him to live life like no one else.

Get this book! Have kids you know read it. You won’t be disappointed!

The movie version, starring Julia Roberts, Jacob Tremblay, and Owen Wilson, was supposed to come out this past February. It has been postponed to fall of 2017.

I “wonder” if viewers will be able to embrace this movie, understand it’s impact, and not judge a book by its cover.

Category: Book Review

“Born to Eat”: Inclusion Starts with Baby’s First Bite